If your husband, wife, son or daughter has become one of Jehovah`s Witnesses the "face" of your family has probably changed because he is prohibited from participation in Birthdays, Mother`s Day, Christmas, Family Reunions, etc. This cult`s influence has broken family ties that you once held sacred and dear.

Many times you have tried to convince your loved one to leave the Watchtower only to end in argument. You came away asking yourself why he would abandon family and friends?

Here are some steps you can take to assist your loved one to exit the Watchtower.  These steps will require time, patience, love and will set the foundation for a successful witness!

Step 1: Learn how the Watchtower organization uses mind control techniques. You will need to understand this "world" in order to understand him. The book, Winning The Witnesses (Chick Publications), will describe the barriers you will face and why your loved one`s personality and character has dramatically changed.

Step 2: Identify problems that have always existed within your family. If the family structure is in disarray, your loved one will ask you, "Why should I return to my family where there is [alcohol, drugs, fighting, arguing, whatever issues apply to your family] when my 'new family` lives by Biblical principles and God-given values? Who would you rather be with?"

Step 3: Once personal issues have been identified and acknowledged, focus on improving family relationships. Family ties, especially from a healthy, loving and spiritual family, are much stronger than the conditional love that exists in the Watchtower. If they see unconditional love in the family, it will be easier to abandon the conditional love based on rules and regulations in the Watchtower.

Note: Cult groups exploit the human need for association, belonging, and for family. This is especially true for those who are starving for attention, love and acceptance. The Watchtower will capitalize on those needs where one`s family is perceived to have failed.

Step 4: Love the family member unconditionally. The Watchtower cult loves conditionally depending on how hard the member works for the organization. He will soon learn that the Watchtower fails to live up to its promises. Whatever your family member enjoyed before being recruited into the Watchtower, give him that same kind of love. This will make him homesick for your affection he once held dear.

Step 5: After trust has been re-established, use the strategies outlined in Winning The Witnesses that are designed to plant seeds of doubt in the minds of the Jehovah`s Witnesses. Be sure you are prepared to patiently and prayerfully introduce these thoughts. Over time, you will learn the Watchtower language that he uses. You will learn how to introduce the idea that the Watchtower is not what it claims to be: inspired of God. Give him time to think about this concept. Don`t try to rush the process.

Remember: the Jehovah`s Witnesses have surrendered their identities to the Watchtower. Your goal is to re-orient the person back to his pre-cult identity —the place where rigid rules are not required for acceptance. This is why it is important to take care of family issues before you begin. (Refer to step two)

Your unconditional love will be essential when the Watchtower people use fear and guilt to maintain their grip on anyone who tries to leave. You must be a channel of God`s grace to counter this bondage.

Winning the Witnesses contains a section illustrating the trauma experienced by anyone who attempts to leave the Watchtower. Detailed instructions are given on how to help someone make the transition.